Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Nudism: Father and sons / parent-child

It may be that those who don't have children (of either sex) might possibly 'project' what might be their own doubts (or fears or sexual inclinations) when they consider how gay or bisexual fathers could be perfectly comfortable being naked with their children (especially sons), or even want to make sure that they DO get the opportunity to learn / experience being comfortable naked with their dads and other men.


I don't ever recall having the slightest urge to 'know' my own sons biblically (i.e. in a less than wholesome way) and never gave the first thought to being sexually attracted to them. I'd be less than honest to say that this was not always true about some of their high school friends and soccer teammates. However, I never ever acted on these thoughts - although I wouldn't morally condemn some man who did - that's not what the issue or the original question on this thread is about.

I'm not rejecting the possibility that some fathers could have more than an affectionate or fatherly interest in their sons, but I'd bet that most do not.

In my own case, there was no willful desire, ulterior motive or sinistre plan to let the boys see me (and my wife) naked. It was just a natural family thing. We did not raise them in Judeo-Christian religion-influenced America so that probably had a lot to do with reasons why it just seemed natural. We bathed together, went to public baths and hot springs resorts, and a few sometime visited nude beaches (or clothing-optional spots, in other countries - such as Greece and Munich's Englischergarten). Conversations sometimes included references to what they saw or were experiencing and there were the inevitable questions. But it was appropriate and in context - so it was a good way and good time to answer their questions: about sex or sexual attraction or feelings and behavior.

I think my sons today have a healthy respect for the human body and an amazing tolerance for diversity - including my own bisexuality, which evidently was even clear to them long before we actually told them.


I can't say that it's all attributable to our being nude together as a family but I think it was a contributing factor or at least just one in a long series of ways of thinking and ways of treating people and being nude that helped them to be open and honest about sexual issues, and not be morally uptight or self-righteous about gender, nudity and human sexual behavior.
They are both heterosexual and over 21-year-old male adults. I am talking about our being nude when they were infants, young boys and into the teenage years. We don't have as much occasion to get naked together these days.


Well... they do mean something.... what more can I say. I'll try.
I was TRYING to support you in the idea that being nude with your sons (or any kids) can be (even should be) something that's very natural and not a cause for alarm. (like some of the hyper-moralistic gay men are suggesting).


BUT .. it does depend on the situation (where you take them and what you 'show' them both physically and your own mental messages to the boys. And it also depends a lot on the boys' (children) own self-understanding and self-acceptance.
Hey, I'm not perfect. The 'idea' of a father and son being sexually involved is a secret fantasy. I enjoy reading Handjobs
http://www.hjmag.com/handjobs/ But it IS just fantasy material - I find I am not attracted at all to my own offspring. However, the thought has crossed my mind often enough about other fathers and their sons.

I think that all boys have at least one time or another (or maybe more than that) had to come to grips with the thought of their father as a sexual being or even an object of some kind of sexual emotions or physical intimacy. But they usually grow out (of it) and grow up (more interested in other things or girls (or guys) their own age before any attraction toward their dad is acted upon. Close to 90% of boys have experience with sexual 'play' with other boys - it's about being a male of the human species.

Fathers are likely to have experienced these same fleeting feelings (and then usually they passed ) and the realization about their sons growing up sexually. I noticed that the discussion has since about stopped. There was one point that had many people curious. You avoided answering the question about your son's ages. In today's climate of "anti-child predator" and all the media hype about child sexual abuse, and Internet child/teen sex / chat rooms etc, I realize you probably don't want to admit much of anything, but you could have said just that it's private or that it's not important to the gist of the discussion. By the way, I would not fault you if you did admit you enjoy being admired by your sons (I don't care what age they are).

Hope you can get what I meant.
Kelly

1 comment:

  1. Kelly. Would like to chat more. Wooddude18@gmail.com growing up without a father I often wish I had one to be naked with, teach me the ropes of jacking off. Trimming pubes,sex, and techniques. I'm obsessed with nudism now...

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